Today I turn 28 and as another year passes my practice of radical self love and acceptance has grown stronger. To be fully honest standing strong in who I am hasn’t been an easy path. I have been beaten and broken by my own expectations and false perceptions that “I’m not good enough.” Thinking back to when I first experience this feeling, it wasn’t hard to see that my childhood was far from reassuring and that’s the same for most. This caused us to go through life focused on building an image of ourself that’s almost impossible to achieve. Always wanting to be the best and have the best of everything only to find ourself dissatisfied with never reaching this ideal “perfection” many of us believe we should be. This has been my story for far to long and as I let go of this idea I feel the beginnings of a new awareness in me and all my being.
I Am Perfectly Imperfect
We can’t undo the past, as much as we wish our story to be different, living in shame of who we are and where we come from won’t make it all go away. It took me a while to understand this and as I finally see the purpose behind my experiences, I see the beauty of who I am meant to be. Life has been preparing me all along and as I come to accept this, I slowly fix the foundation that has long been broken. This will be the groundwork for my present now and future tomorrow, where my needs are nurtured and my worth is known.
I know I am not alone, as this is a struggle for many. Standing in our own true essence and knowing we are worthy and loved doesn’t come easy. In a society where confidence and self love are constantly being challenged, somewhere in our lives we are given the idea that who we are isn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, making us believe that we are unloved and unwanted.
Through this journey I have found this to be a one of the most harmful beliefs we carry. And it is time to finally let it go. I’ve come to understand that these thoughts are NOT our own, but we have taken them on as our truth. And have even gone to the extent of creating situations and stories to validate this very idea. But in the same way you have learned to think badly about yourself, you can learn to think lovingly about yourself. Who you are is not a story in your head, its something more real, it’s deeper than who you think you should be, it’s the perfectly imperfect you.
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Self worth will never come if we keep looking outside to get it, it is from the self and has to comes from within. I’m sure you have heard that many times but soon you will feel the truth of that statement. It’s an inner wisdom that someone or something can’t define your value or worth, only you can. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible.
Each step you take will lead you to cultivate new, loving, empowering thoughts about yourself. Your job is just to be open to it. There will be things that challenge this very idea that “YOU ARE ENOUGH” and most of the time it will be you that makes you believe otherwise. But you are in the mist of change and this battle that you are fight is the most courageous of them all.
Challenge those beliefs that tell you “your not good enough” take away their power and reclaim your own. You won’t win them all, at least not at first, but you decide when to lift yourself up or throw in the towel and my hope is that you keep going. Lift yourself up and know that within you there is a divine space which you can come to know your true essence of self and identity. This is where you dwell, no one can take it away from you and no one can make you see it, only you. So tell yourself how beautiful, radiant, resilient, amazing, and perfectly imperfect you are. Tell yourself over and over again until one day you believe it.
Yes, I’m still human, and I fall back to old beliefs. They are at times so heavily ingrained in me that I feel helpless to overcoming the familiar pattern. But before I fall too deep, a voice calls out to bring me back up again. It may come from within, other times it’s a friend, a teacher, a child or even a stranger. And my job it to receive it.
This is a life long journey, one that will constantly push me to grow, evolve, and build but those flaws, those imperfections are part of the beautiful being that makes me, me. I am kind, caring, and compassionate. I cry, get angry, and am jealous at times. I feel deeply and forgive often. I laugh, I play, and I accept the “perfectly imperfect” person that I am, right here, right now.
It’s the imperfections that make things beautiful.
I hope you found this helpful as sharing my story isn’t always easy but it’s through this experience that I have openheartedly allowed healing in my life. I know there will be a time where within us we all will know our true essence and this will radiate out into our world creating a new level of awareness in all of us. I’d love to hear about the perfectly imperfect person that you are, comment & share below :)